RIP dearest Ammachi (aka Poptain)

My grandmother was a top ranking student until grade 9, after which her studies were abruptly discontinued & she was married to my grandfather at age 16. 

She loved to talk about her keen interest to study, her father and her hometown of Coonoor. Her stories were of a carefree childhood turned into rushed adulthood, when she had to figure out cooking and managing a family. She stayed up a whole night sowing just so she could stitch a dress for my mother (a 2yr old) that she couldn't afford to buy & prove a point. She was a very determined person. 

Most of my favourite memories are from when she was still young and able (or should I say extremely capable). She was a very lively person. She loved dogs, and some rather strange pets she had (including a rooster).. she would get her dogs dressed up with sunglasses and a potu at times. She was intelligent, hardworking and did a lot for all of us when she could. She was an amazing host, a great cook and she loved to teach biology when she cut meat and pulled guts out of whatever animal she was chopping up.

I distinctly remember my long summer holidays at my grandmother's place.. the many fruit trees surrounding the house.. her mini chicken farm and her ability to utilize everything in the garden. She was very proud of all the produce & made the most delicious mango pickle, mango jam, and a really unique gooseberry jam that's an unforgettable taste! She would also make snacks like muruku, rose cookies, and other crispy treats. She had great talent and I was always in awe of watching how she worked without stopping and how she was eternally feeding us from dawn to dusk. There was always fresh fruit from the garden or snacks between meals. She did not believe in eating only thrice a day! 

She had a mehendi plant and would grind the leaves on an ammi kallu (traditional granite hand grinder) to create designs on our hands. One of my clearest memories are of her sitting on the living room floor with jasmine she bought in bulk/plucked from the garden and tying them up with thread; while watching warily as I jumped from one edge of her front porch stairs to the other and nervously asking me to stop it and come inside. I loved those simple summer days. 

She loved my long hair in high school and always wanted to braid it in different patterns. Was also extremely upset when I decided to chop it all off when I went to Uni!

She was very curious and eager to learn even in her 60s & I believe her life might have been completely different if she had the opportunity to study further. She was ahead of her time and more open minded than her children's generation at times when it came to talking about sexuality and relationships. She loved to sit on her bed and chitchat, with a cracked open sambadam (stainless steel cylindrical box) of snacks. 

In the past few years my memories are far more sober, limited to evening tea time meetings where we would all buy snacks for her; take it to her room and have a cup of tea together. She would nudge me now and then to have children of my own and even offer some whispered advice on the best ways to conceive with a giggle. 

She was not without flaws, in fact she was one of the few people in my life I found hardest to understand. The greatest lessons I would take from her life would be her determination, perseverance and capability in the face of adversity. She had struggles that most people in her life did not even know about & I pray that she finds peace wherever she is now. 

She lived a full life & was blessed to see her great grandchildren too. We thank God for the many good years he blessed her with.

All we have at the end, are these memories to hold on to, and may we remember only the good days. RIP Poptain. Thank you for letting us call you Poptain, and for being our grandmother